Freeby for The Merry Month of May, Tra La!

If you haven't gone A-Maying yet, you can legally do so until Midnight tonight.  And if you miss that deadline, you can still print this cute little card for Mothers Day tomorrow, and all sorts of other May events.

If you've never been A-Maying, here are some suggestions:

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The Modern Woman's Guide To Maying

Rustic Version:

 When everyone is safely in bed (roughly 8 pm in the country) don your long white medieval looking gown, and put on your hiking boots.   Grab some kitchen shears, a basket, and a package of raw meat.  Go gather greenery and wildflowers in the dark.
Throw raw meat to the farm dogs, so they don't cause a ruckus.  Slog back thru the mud, and rinse the cow patties off your gown as soon as you get home.  Get out the Peach Brandy Miz Custis gave you for Christmas, and make flower crowns til it's sinfully late. (like 11pm)

Suburbs:

 When everyone is safely in bed (roughly 11 pm in suburbs) don your long white medieval looking gown, and put on your Nikes.   Grab some kitchen shears, a basket, a package of raw meat, and your drivers license.. Go gather greenery and prize winning roses from people's front yards in the dark, (taking NO MORE than 15% from each garden.)  
Throw raw meat to the family guard dogs, so they don't cause a ruckus.  Flash your ID to the beat cop who's patrolling, and tell him it's a scavenger hunt.  Tiptoe back thru the development, and rinse the herbicide off your gown as soon as you get home.  Get out the May Wine that your SCA friends gave you for Christmas, and make flower crowns til it's sinfully late. (like 1 am)  

Urban:

 When everyone is out having dinner (roughly 8 pm in the city) don your long white medieval looking gown, and put on your ballet flats.   Grab your backpack,  and load in several cans of vienna sausages and bottled water, your drivers license and credit card. Dumpster Dive for day-old greenery and floral tributes from behind the florist stand.
Hand out the vienna sausages and bottled water to the people camped out there for the night, so you don't feel guilty.   Flash your ID to the beat cop who's patrolling, and tell him it's a scavenger hunt for a well known charity.  
Take your credit card to the all-night Italian place, and get takeout pasta and a nice Pinot Grigio.

Walk back to your apartment and  throw the dress in the garbage, (cause you'll never get the dumpster stains out)   Put the vegetable matter that doesn't stink in a vase, check your email while eating linguini, and go to bed sinfully Early, (like 11 pm)